Bashing One Out

No no no no… you filthy bastards.

I am not doing what you think. I am not a one armed typist regardless of what some might say.

I thought, as I have nothing to do at this particular moment that I’d come and randomly post something on whatever comes into my head. You must appreciate the fact that this could be quite surreal.

I know! I’ll write about what the rest of this week is going to bring for me. I can do this because I am psychic now.


This will be a great day. Work will ring me to say there is no need to come in for rest of the week. I am their best and they can’t risk exhausting me by sending me out on “emergency calls”.

Then after I put the phone down I will drive to the local Tesco and pick me up a copy of Aliens Vs Predator for my xbox360.

Drive home.

Insert disc into xbox360.

Secure and arrange a massive pile of munchy food and a cup of tea.

Spend twenty minutes trying to decide which character to play. The Alien? Could do, but lack of a gun would make me wish I had a gun. Marine? Yeah right. So I get munched by an Alien or have my skull ripped out by a predator? Gay marines. That leaves Predator then. Or as I call him El Diablo Coolio.


Leave house and secure more munchy food.

Play Aliens Vs Predator a bit…

Go to bed after playing a bit. Say about Midnight then.


Get up and go check the xbox is still there and working correctly.

Maybe go out at lunch time to secure munchy foods.

Come back and make cup of tea.

Assess Aliens Vs Predator’s ability to be played hard.


Might go online and see if anyone wants to play Aliens Vs Predator.

Drink tea.


Discover Wednesdays lottery ticket. It’s a winner!

Celebrate with tea.

Call up work and tell them I will longer be coming back as I am now a full time Predator.


Do some writing. I really should do this. Perhaps I shall instead keep a log of my best kills throughout the week? If I was really good…

Because I am so freaking good, I shall write a guide to any nOOb predators out there. They will read it an be in awe of my amazingness. Yes that is a word. Its predator speak and translates as Fucking Awesome.


I doubt I will be able to play this day as Jemma may rip my sack off like a paper towel. Instead I shall likely stalk the house like a predator and hunt the cat. I even have my own laser pen! I could point it from odd angles and leap out from behind stuff. She better not give away my hiding places…

‘I don’t care who you are back in the world. You give our position one more time, I’ll bleed you, real quiet . . . leave you here.’

She’ll just have to accept it as the new me. I’ll not have her saying anything about my predator costume again either.

Sounds like a pretty awesome week to me.

Face it, you’ll probably not have as much fun as me this week.

M 🙂

Author: Mark S Thompson

Okay, so these things are kind of hit and miss. If you’re reading this then I am thankful to you for taking the time out of your day to do so. I’ll be honest, when I think of myself as a writer, I kinda cringe. Don’t get me wrong, it is the dream, it's​ just I never really believe it will go anywhere. When I think back to the day that I first knew I loved writing, and I mean really knew, I see myself sitting in an English lesson at secondary school. The school was called Wrotham and is in the county of Kent, England. As far as I know, it's still there. English was far and away my favourite subject. The best bit was when the teacher gave the class a selection of words and asked us to make up a story that either contained those words or was about those words, you know. At other times we would be given the first sentence and then write what happens next. Good times. Many times my work would reflect what I had recently read and it would be okay. Nothing special, just okay. On one occasion though I wrote about a merman called Finchy and can remember going into so much depth and detail about him and the underwater kingdom he lived in. I really enjoyed writing that and it must have shown because my teacher commented on it. She was really impressed and loved the story. That was it for me, my moment. Now when I write I think back to those great times and to that story. Hopefully, I’ll write something that you, the reader, will be moved to comment on. For me, there is no greater elixir

2 thoughts on “Bashing One Out”

  1. Yes, you will. You’ll be at work.
    Oh, and because you decided to comment while logged in to my profile it now looks like I’m talking to myself. Great.


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