I have come up with a cunning way of making some money.
What? Tell me how! Now! Now! NOW!
Well, a little background if you please? Thank you.
Well, there I was sitting at the table happily eating my pancakes (Pancake Day Woo hoo! Yeah! Alright…) when my faithful moggy Loken started to tug on my leg. Again, no that is not code for some feline wank fest. Jeez…
I eventually relented and teased him by holding a small piece of my delicious pancake mere inches from his slavering gaping mouth. He began to nash his teeth and I don’t know maybe because I was scared I dropped it. It fell onto the end of his nose and he recoiled his head backwards at the same moment it made contact with his face. It was so funny. For a split second it looked as if he had a really, really heavy piece of pancake on his face that was forcing his head down between his shoulder blades. Truly awesome.
Anyway, if only I’d had a camera available to capture that split second. It was worth it just for the fact he scrunched his face up into a sneer and was staring at the pancake cross-eyed. Fucking ace.
There is no way I can ever repeat that moment. Believe me I tried. Furthermore, as you can never have a camera on standby with you like all the time I have come up with a novel solution.
I give you the Third Eye…
Wouldn’t this be great? You’d have to wear it all day obviously but I dunno with a few tweaks it could be the next “Alice Band” or something.
I envisage it with a pull cord or maybe like it’s somehow linked to your thoughts. Fantastic.
Also, with a few minor adjustments it could double as personal protection device. Yeah! You heard me. I mean, it’s probably only got like a one bulb for a tiny flash but….. what if you modified it so that it had like a hundred hidden bulbs. Then, if you were gonna be mugged or something you could zap em! Imagine that. He’d think the fucking world had exploded or something, and as he’s rolling round on the floor wondering why he’s got a crisp for a face and no eyes you could quietly make your escape.
Anyway, I must away. Apparently there is pancake all over the dining room floor and its my job to clean it up? Mine?!
Loken… you’re so bloody ungrateful.