I’m sitting in the drivers seat of an ambulance somewhere in Suffolk on ‘standby’.
Please don’t assume that we know something is about to happen… It’s likely not. In fact there is no it. Management are just clutching a straws assuming they can predict the next likely area an emergency call will come in. Of course they can’t. Not really. They’re just basing this mad plan on some witchery called historical data.
Anyway I’m not going to talk about that today.
As I sit here and watch the world go by I am at a loss as to what my future holds. Then again, aren’t we all? My wife and I have been working towards a new life together for sometime now and recently, yesterday in fact, we sold our house. This is good news as it means we can now move to the farm. This is where it starts to get tricky though.
At first it was all pipe dreams. Just another of those many things people wish would happen to them. But its happening and its happening fast. Its happening to us and we’re really happy about it. Mostly. You see, when something is just a dream, some intangible thing on the horizon, nice to dream about but ultimately never going to happen, you’re safe. You’re safe at work, safe in your life, your daily routine, your habits, your hobbies. You might have a night out planned with some friends in a months time, you may even have a holiday booked or planned to do some extra-curricular study. Such is the safety of your life because you know what your future holds. It’s never likely to change because anything else you might wish to do is all ethereal and unreachable, locked away in the land of hopes and dreams.
But what if those things became possible? More than that… What if they were no longer on the horizon but rushing toward you on an intercept course?
It changes things. The future becomes uncertain and its frightening. You realise that you could actually do something you thought you may never have the opportunity to. Yet there is a catch.
These things, however amazing they are, however quickly they sprung from the horizon and rushed headlong into your life… They are still not going to land in your lap and say ‘Here I am.’ That really would be a dream.
No, they come so close but then they stop and they ask ‘Is this really what you want?’ Of course it is but its a test now. A tempting tangible thing you’ve always wanted is within your grasp…
But now it requires a leap of faith.
You can have it, you can reach it but to do so you have to give up that certainty of your future you once held. That safe routine you know so well.
So what to do?
Perhaps I am making a meal of this and it really is a no brainer. That does not make it any easier though. Only a fool would bound out into unfamiliar land without first checking for potholes or mines maybe.
I must ponder on this.